i do not want this

i am in a horrible mood today. its one of those days where everything bothers me. certain people are just getting on my nerves, there is too much to do, not enough money to do it with, not enough time to do it all, i have had no results on my diet in way too long... and on and on the list goes. i hate being in this mood. that, of course, only makes the mood worse. i had a little freak out last night which led to a fight with the wife, which also makes the mood worse. we aren't still fighting or anything, but i am always OFF for awhile when we fight. the only thing that has made me laugh all day was the memory of me telling the wife "oh no you DIDN'T!" when she said something i didn't like. sometimes my inner sha-nay-nay comes out. lol.

so many times when i feel like this people say that wifey and i have too much on our plates and we need to take a break. easy for them to say... who stays with her parents and the kids while we take our break? nobody is willing to. and if we went somewhere, what exactly can we do for zero dollars? we could go to the beach and walk around or go to the lesbian club before they start charging cover at 11, but there is the issue of gas and parking. we are seriously in that tight of a financial situation that those things are a concern.

aside from that, another huge frustration for me is the diet issue. i can't tell you how tired i am of watching every SINGLE bite of food going in my mouth and getting no results. i have willpower like you wouldn't beleive, but i need to see results. "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" is a good mantra, but not so much when you aren't losing weight. maybe i need to switch to south beach or something. all i know is i can't take much more of this. this issue is bigger than just what i eat. i'm so tired of not liking what i see in the mirror. the wife, bless her, thinks i'm a super-hottie. while that does help, it doesn't change it completely.

to top it off, i haven't been feeling the greatest this week. i'm a sleepy head, but this week has been out of hand. no matter how many hours a day i sleep, i'm exhausted all day long. someone at work was saying its because i'm stressed out, but i don't feel stressed. sure, wifey and i (more wifey since she stays home with them) have more on our plates than the average person, but i've pretty much adjusted to level of madness.

maybe i just need a drink.