remind me never to do that again

some of my faithful readers will remember that i used to blog on modblog, then made the move to efx. well, now that efx is up and running again, i am on a mission to copy over some of my old entries. so i thought why not copy some of the modblog ones too? i went to www.archive.org and looked up my old modblog. i ended up copying one or two entries, but had to close the window because i couldn't stand to read any more of it and my eyes were watering. the modblog days were the days when wifey and i were going through a lot of emotional turmoil. some of my posts were like getting hit in the gut. a lot of what i wrote referenced her entries, so i went and read some of hers too. that was even more painful. i made it all sound so monumental, so HUGE. but reading it now, it sounds like i was mad about something trivial. and by being mad, i upset her when she was going through so much already. i may have been justified back then, but i feel selfish for it now.

so, remind me never to do that again, ok?

she and i have had our fair share of issues and fights. our relationship was full of ups and downs for the first few years. there were all sorts of reasons for it, but we are past that now. looking at it in black and white just made me sad. i don't ever want to go to that place emotionally again. i know back then it was a big deal, but those things don't matter anymore. we've come so far and learned to deal with each other's quirks/issues/general craziness so well that we don't even fight about the things i was blogging about back then. in fact, i think we hardly fight anymore. when we do, its short but intense. it used to be a regular thing, but we've progressed to only once in awhile.

wifey: i love you, honey. you are my world. looking at those entries reminded me of how VERY far we've come. i promise you here and now we are NEVER going back to acting like that. oh god, i can't wait to get home and hug and kiss you.