this is a copy of an old post from my old blog (efx2 which then became efx2blogs). in the end, the final incarnation (efx2blogs) went down one too many times for me, so i switched to blogger. i was able to recover most of my older stuff (efx2) from archive.org. some smilies, graphics, and/or links may be missing, but you get the idea.
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that's right toto, we aren't in kansas anymore. yeah, yeah, i know. i'm in my thirties. i haven't been in high school for a long time. so what am i saying, you ask. well, it all began with freaking myspace.
i was looking for a dear old friend of mine and then it occurred to me that maybe there were other old high school friends i could find as well, so i dragged my senior yearbook and various signature books out to find last names, etc. and what do i find but all these well wishes from people gushing how close we were, how much i listened to their problems, etc etc etc. and i don't mean just the casual hey, it was nice having you in algebra this year kind of friends. my friendship meant something to these people, apparently. so whats my problem? i don't remember 99% of them! and of those i do remember, there are references to all sorts of shit that i can't recall either. "don't forget! bonded sisters!" wtf? i mean i know most people say things like 'to a great friend" or whatever when they sign those things at the end of the year, but these went beyond the regular stuff and i have no idea who they were or why i was "bonded with them" i also had a list of memorable quotes, which also only rang vague bells. that didn't bother me nearly as much, however.
of the 8 people i would really love to talk to again, only 2 have a myspace, which made me think of all the years of wasted time. time i could have spent keeping in touch with my friends but didn't because i was too busy running from myself. i spent years getting myself into messes, trying to numb myself, etc and ended up running from my own past and planting myself here in florida. enough time has past now and i am craving a connection with my past. i don't want to talk to all the old friends, thats for sure, but a select few who knew me back then would do my heart good. i have wifey and her family and a few friends here in miami, but the total lack of any connection to my life before florida is a little isolating sometimes.
aside from the 2 old friends i found, i also found one of my ex's. it was a bit of a shock, i have to admit, to see her smiling and looking happy considering the condition i left her in. i had to remind myself that almost 14 years have passed. things change. our relationship was a trainwreck. distastrous with a capital d. yet, i find myself almost irresistibly tempted to say hi to her. not out of some desire to reconnect with an old flame (god no. i'm too madly in love with that sexy cuban of mine), and not for any other reason other than saying hey, how the fuck are ya? i think wifey is threatened by the prospect and i dont' want the ex to think i've been carrying a torch for her all this time, so i haven't done it yet.
fucking myspace! now i see why i waited so long to get one!
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