what's your fantasy?

this is a copy of an old post from my old blog (efx2 which then became efx2blogs). in the end, the final incarnation (efx2blogs) went down one too many times for me, so i switched to blogger. i was able to recover most of my older stuff (efx2) from archive.org. some smilies, graphics, and/or links may be missing, but you get the idea.

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for those of you that have read blogs about discussions we have on the job, you will remember that we discuss a WIDE variety of things. the owner of the company and i once discussed double-ended dildos (he'd never seen one and had a different idea of what they looked like), the IT guy and i regularly discuss theories in physics, etc. the most recent discussion the IT guy and i had involved fantasies and the people we fantasize about. i was saying that someone (the person in discussion at that moment) wasn't in my "fantasy land" because of their personality and he said that in fantasy land, people can have a personality transplant because fantasy land means it can be whatever you want. i then told him that the only person that lives in my fantasy land is wifey, to which he declared me abnormal. this then sparked a discussion with the rest of the office and i began taking a poll of those people who would actually answer and not be offended. so far, the score is 2 to 4. wifey and i say the only ones in our fantasy is each other and the other 4 (IT guy, the receptionist, the owner's wife and accounts payable) all say that other people aside from their significant others live in fantasy land. i do have to say that if i were single, there would be more people in fantasy land, but there is not a single fantasy in my head that i wouldn't want to explore with wifey. the receptionist agreed on that point. she said that if she were single, it wouldn't just be fantasy land, it would be fantasy city it would be so full (with both permanent residents and renters). the owner's wife said that she didn't think it was abnormal in a bad way that only wifey lives in my fantasy land. she thinks wifey is extremely lucky. and i think i'm lucky too.

so, in light of all this, i'd like to extend the discussion to you guys. who lives in your fantasy land? does the fact that most people seem to have fantasies about other people mean they are cheating in their minds?

lookout weekend cuz here i come!

this is a copy of an old post from my old blog (efx2 which then became efx2blogs). in the end, the final incarnation (efx2blogs) went down one too many times for me, so i switched to blogger. i was able to recover most of my older stuff (efx2) from archive.org. some smilies, graphics, and/or links may be missing, but you get the idea.

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i'm plotting and planning my weekend activities. here's a clue for wifey:

I'm a sexy mama (mama)
Who knows just how to get what I wanna (wanna)
What I want to do is spring this on you (on you)
Back up all of the things that I told you (told you)

You've been saying all the right things all night long
But I can't seem to get you over here to help take this off
Baby, can't you see? (see)
How these clothes are fitting on me (me)
And the heat coming from this beat (beat)
I'm about to blow
I don't think you know



and on that note, the song i was listening to (ministry - jesus built my hotrod) is over, so i'm outta here!

i am not in high school anymore

this is a copy of an old post from my old blog (efx2 which then became efx2blogs). in the end, the final incarnation (efx2blogs) went down one too many times for me, so i switched to blogger. i was able to recover most of my older stuff (efx2) from archive.org. some smilies, graphics, and/or links may be missing, but you get the idea.

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that's right toto, we aren't in kansas anymore. yeah, yeah, i know. i'm in my thirties. i haven't been in high school for a long time. so what am i saying, you ask. well, it all began with freaking myspace.

i was looking for a dear old friend of mine and then it occurred to me that maybe there were other old high school friends i could find as well, so i dragged my senior yearbook and various signature books out to find last names, etc. and what do i find but all these well wishes from people gushing how close we were, how much i listened to their problems, etc etc etc. and i don't mean just the casual hey, it was nice having you in algebra this year kind of friends. my friendship meant something to these people, apparently. so whats my problem? i don't remember 99% of them! and of those i do remember, there are references to all sorts of shit that i can't recall either. "don't forget! bonded sisters!" wtf? i mean i know most people say things like 'to a great friend" or whatever when they sign those things at the end of the year, but these went beyond the regular stuff and i have no idea who they were or why i was "bonded with them" i also had a list of memorable quotes, which also only rang vague bells. that didn't bother me nearly as much, however.

of the 8 people i would really love to talk to again, only 2 have a myspace, which made me think of all the years of wasted time. time i could have spent keeping in touch with my friends but didn't because i was too busy running from myself. i spent years getting myself into messes, trying to numb myself, etc and ended up running from my own past and planting myself here in florida. enough time has past now and i am craving a connection with my past. i don't want to talk to all the old friends, thats for sure, but a select few who knew me back then would do my heart good. i have wifey and her family and a few friends here in miami, but the total lack of any connection to my life before florida is a little isolating sometimes.

aside from the 2 old friends i found, i also found one of my ex's. it was a bit of a shock, i have to admit, to see her smiling and looking happy considering the condition i left her in. i had to remind myself that almost 14 years have passed. things change. our relationship was a trainwreck. distastrous with a capital d. yet, i find myself almost irresistibly tempted to say hi to her. not out of some desire to reconnect with an old flame (god no. i'm too madly in love with that sexy cuban of mine), and not for any other reason other than saying hey, how the fuck are ya? i think wifey is threatened by the prospect and i dont' want the ex to think i've been carrying a torch for her all this time, so i haven't done it yet.

fucking myspace! now i see why i waited so long to get one!

i love this woman

this is a copy of an old post from my old blog (efx2 which then became efx2blogs). in the end, the final incarnation (efx2blogs) went down one too many times for me, so i switched to blogger. i was able to recover most of my older stuff (efx2) from archive.org. some smilies, graphics, and/or links may be missing, but you get the idea.

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its early afternoon and i'm sitting at my desk rubbing my lips together thinking how much i love the new lip balm i just got (burt's bees replenishing lip balm with pomegranite oil - this shit rocks!) when my phone rang. it was the wife and she asked me to come downstairs. i love surprise visits at work! but this one was even better. i got early mother's day presents:



roses:


a mushy card:


a HUGE balloon:


and a little angel:




i've been smiling all day ever since. i swear i love this woman!


you are the BEST, mi amor! thank you, thank you, thank you! i adore you!

confession

this is a copy of an old post from my old blog (efx2 which then became efx2blogs). in the end, the final incarnation (efx2blogs) went down one too many times for me, so i switched to blogger. i was able to recover most of my older stuff (efx2) from archive.org. some smilies, graphics, and/or links may be missing, but you get the idea.

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forgive me fellow bloggers for i have sinned. as a result of recent events (ie, trying to stay in touch with my friend in california) i now have a my space and i actually like it! *hangs head in shame* i even have a cute little pink and black punky/femme layout with music and pictures. i teased my step daughter and my ex-coworker about my space every chance i got. i told them i didn't see the point of my space so many times. i didn't realize how fun it would be to find old friends, classmates, etc.

don't despair, however, i am not leaving efx for myspace. i might be out of the closet but i am married to someone who isn't and wifey's family all use my space, so i will still blog here. i can't blog openly over there about my REAL life. i won't be placing links on my blog to my my space or vice versa either. i just felt the need to confess my sins.

progess

this is a copy of an old post from my old blog (efx2 which then became efx2blogs). in the end, the final incarnation (efx2blogs) went down one too many times for me, so i switched to blogger. i was able to recover most of my older stuff (efx2) from archive.org. some smilies, graphics, and/or links may be missing, but you get the idea.

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after 2 weeks of doing pilates 5 times a week, i decided to weigh myself again and i was pleased. i'm down 3 more pounds. that makes a total of 37 pounds in exactly 5 months (today is exactly 5 months since i began this journey).

in other news, peace has returned to my house again. *whew* wifey and i are back to being the cute, happy couple we normally are. life is good.

today

this is a copy of an old post from my old blog (efx2 which then became efx2blogs). in the end, the final incarnation (efx2blogs) went down one too many times for me, so i switched to blogger. i was able to recover most of my older stuff (efx2) from archive.org. some smilies, graphics, and/or links may be missing, but you get the idea.

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today i realized that i've failed the one i love. i gave what i thought was my best but it wasn't what was truly needed. i thought the more i sacrificed and the more i denied myself those things that would cause her to lose sight of her goal, the better things would be in the end. i thought the more i supported, picked up the slack, cheered her on and helped her out made up for anything else that might be lacking. but the realization hit me today like a runaway pickup truck that what she truly needed, deep down in her heart, wasn't what i was giving. i thought she'd understand, thought she knew it wasn't in my nature, thought those things didn't need to be said. instead, the emptiness left by what i'm not giving has grown out of control. i did what i thought was the best i could do, tried as hard as i could, but she still couldn't see what i really felt and now the fact that i have not been able to give her what she needs is breaking my heart. its not like i didn't want to. its not like i didn't try (or at least i thought i did). so why are we not both smiling right now? why do i have a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes?

this morning i was relishing the twinges of soreness in my muscles, loving the little reminders that i am on a path to looking and feeling better. (i've been doing pilates every morning to speed up the transformation i'm after). i was high on life this morning and now i'm in the pits of despair, blaming myself for her unhappiness. it is moments like this that make me seriously wonder if i could be bipolar. how else could i go from such a high to feeling as low as i do at this moment?

whatever

this is a copy of an old post from my old blog (efx2 which then became efx2blogs). in the end, the final incarnation (efx2blogs) went down one too many times for me, so i switched to blogger. i was able to recover most of my older stuff (efx2) from archive.org. some smilies, graphics, and/or links may be missing, but you get the idea.

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seeing as how i'm almost at the 4 month mark of my dieting adventure, i thought i'd post an update:
i'm down 34 pounds.


while i am happy about that, i'm in such a mood today (have been for several days) that i'm not really doing the little cheery thing that smilie above is doing. i've been in mood for awhile actually (since january) with certain aspects of my life. seeing as how some people who are involved in those aspects of my life read this blog, i'll leave the details out (how does that sound for some secret agent bullshit? lol)

of late, i have:
been treated like a brainless idiot more than once
had my authority underminded
been told a solution i proposed to a problem was "stupid"
been caught in the middle of warfare for speaking my mind
been on the receiving end of unwarranted silence
wanted to throw my computer at my boss

i'd like to direct a little something to those people who have done these things:

enough is enough!

thank god i have wifey to go home to, otherwise i think i'd lose what is left of my mind. we had an "issue" recently, but it lasted much less than previous fights, so i was VERY happy about that.

finally

this is a copy of an old post from my old blog (efx2 which then became efx2blogs). in the end, the final incarnation (efx2blogs) went down one too many times for me, so i switched to blogger. i was able to recover most of my older stuff (efx2) from archive.org. some smilies, graphics, and/or links may be missing, but you get the idea.

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i figured it was time to actually post something instead of a meme or a quiz, so here i am, still with lots to say and nothing at all at the same time. i wish i had time to do a dirty thirty, but i am at work right now and while i have half an hour left on my lunch break, i'm sure i'll get interrupted too many times. so, i figure i'll just ramble for a bit.

it has come to my attention (after discovering careless errors at work) that i am FRIED and in much need of some time to decompress and disconnect. to that end, i have a few things in mind:

i am hoping to be able to go on a women only spiritual camping trip soon. there are going to be all kinds of activities, all sorts of new things to learn, etc.

shortly thereafter, wifey and i are going to have an in-town getaway. going out of town (even though i had an offer to have hotel paid for) is just not feasible. wifey's business is new and she needs to be able to do SOME work every day just to keep up and keep those customers happy. plus, we have 4 dogs and a cat. the cost to board them alone is prohibitive. so we have decided to take a long weekend where she will work the minimum possible and we have no other plans than to be together. we desperatley need it. as my boss so eloquently put it, we need to take a weekend to suck and fuck to our heart's content. lol. while that may be true, we also need some couple time. i need to feel like more than a dishwasher, dog feeder, child picker upper and wifey needs to feel like more than a taxi driver and complaint department. and she really needs some time away from the computer. i think her mouse has indentations where her fingers go. i can think of much more fun things to do with those fingers.

before that, however (this coming weekend) i plan to spend at least one night (two if i'm lucky) heavily under the influence. i tried to do that this weekend, but it didn't work out.

i have been feeling rather strongly that i need to do something with my life lately. i've been feeling....... stagnant. i considered taking classes at the local community college, but it will take too long to get the degree i was interested in. seeing as how its not a requirement to do this thing i'm interested in (which is staying under wraps for awhile, hence the general references to this "thing"), i'm teaching myself. so far things are going well. the next task is to get my new computer up to speed so that i can do online tutorials and such. that is going to involve removing memory, a hard drive and cd-rom from the old computer and putting it all in the new one. while that may sound easy to some, i have never done any of those things. i'm concerned, but looking forward to the opportunity to learn such things.

for those of you who know what the moyo files, are, we have a new addition. wifey was going through her mp3s this weekend (some of which were downloaded by her godson) and she asked me if i like daddy yankee. but of course moyo yoyo over there asked me if like "doddy jankee" of course, i lost it. god i love that woman.

in un-related news, i took a few quizzes over at quizfarm and found out that:

i am a goddess
You scored as Goddess. You are a goddess. Your constantly helping people with their problems, but you never take time for you. You should try to take some alone time. Take a trip far away, where noone knows you. It will be good for you, because you deserve a break.
What ancient breed are you?
created with QuizFarm.com<

my kinky turn on is bondage:
You scored as Bondage. Your turn on is bondage... all out. You don't have a specific part of kinky sex that turns you on more than any other... everything working together turns you on. And why shouldn't it? Sex isn't sex without all the trimmings.
What's Your Kinky Turn On?
created with QuizFarm.com

i'm a slave to bdsm:
You scored as A Slave To BDSM. Admit it, you like being tied up and being told you've been very naughty. You like teasing your partner and making them squirm, and not letting them be able to do anything about it. Some people think what you do is sick and disgusting, but you know it's all in good fun.
How are you in bed
created with QuizFarm.com

and i'm a "surprise" dyke:
You scored as The Surprise! Dyke. Despite the dead giveaways, such as the tattoos and love of the L Word, people still seem to think that you're straight.
What Type of Lesbian Are You? (Inspired by Curve Mag.)
created with QuizFarm.com

my bar tab is $590

this is a copy of an old post from my old blog (efx2 which then became efx2blogs). in the end, the final incarnation (efx2blogs) went down one too many times for me, so i switched to blogger. i was able to recover most of my older stuff (efx2) from archive.org. some smilies, graphics, and/or links may be missing, but you get the idea.

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not as bad as some i've seen...... you know who you are


This is fun to do. Just read the "offense" and if you've done it, you owe that fine. Keep going until you've read each "offense" and added up your total fine. Title your blog "My Bar Tab is$........" You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.

Smoked pot -- $10

Did acid -- $5

Ever had sex at church -- $25

Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you-- $40

Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $25

Had sex for money -- $100

Ever had sex with the a Puerto Rican -- $20

Vandalized something -- $20

Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10

Beat up someone -- $20

Been jumped -- $10

Crossed dressed -- $10

Given money to stripper -- $25

Been in love with a stripper -- $20

Kissed some one who's name you didn't know --$10

Hit on some one of the same sex while at work-- $15

Ever drive drunk -- $20

Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50

Used toys while having sex -- $30

Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20

Went skinny dipping -- $5

Had sex in a pool -- $20

Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10

Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20

Cheated on your significant other -- $10

Masturbated -- $10

Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend --$20

Done oral -- $5

Got oral -- $5

Done / got oral in a car while it was moving-- $25

Stole something -- $10

Had sex with someone in jail -- $25

Made a nasty home video -- $15

Had a threesome -- $50

Had sex in the wild -- $20

Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25

Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20

Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20

Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25

Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50

Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25

Went streaking -- $5

Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15

Been arrested -- $5

Spent time in jail -- $15

Peed in the pool -- $5

Played spin the bottle -- $5

Done something you regret -- $20

Had sex with your best friend >-- $20

Had sex with someone you work with at work --$25

Had anal sex -- $80

Lied to your mate -- $5

Lied to your mate about the sex being good --$25

Tally it up and post as..."My bar tab is....."

33 questions

this is a copy of an old post from my old blog (efx2 which then became efx2blogs). in the end, the final incarnation (efx2blogs) went down one too many times for me, so i switched to blogger. i was able to recover most of my older stuff (efx2) from archive.org. some smilies, graphics, and/or links may be missing, but you get the idea.

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ok so my mind has been racing today about the conflicting sides of my personality, aspirations, etc. lots of clutter in there. i could use a dirty thirty, but i can't find the time.

so in its place, another meme for your reading pleasure

1. Can you cook?
like a mother fucker :-D and i can bake even better than that.

2. What was your dream growing up?
to be a doctor or a research scientist

3. What talent do you wish you had?
i wish i could sing. i love music. if there is description of a music lover that means what foodie means for food lovers, i'm it. i always refrain from jamming when people are around cuz i can't carry a tune to save my life.

4. Favorite place?
anywhere wifey is

5. Favorite vegetable?
i pretty much like them all. if i had to pick one i'd say broccoli

6. What was the last book you read?
the bretheren by john grisham

7. What zodiac sign are u?
cancer. i know, i know, don't be shocked. miss cook and craft and bake is a sign that is notorious for being family and home oriented? please, pick your jaw up off the floor.

8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
both ears are double pierced and i have one in the left ear, up at the top in the cartilage. yeah, yeah, its popular know, but i did mine back in the day when it wasn't, bitches. and 3 tattoos. a butterfly on my chest, a rose on my ankle and a dreamcatcher on my shoulder.

9. Worst Habit?
i'm a sarcastic bitch

10. Do we know each other outside of blogging?
nope. i only know 2 bloggers in real life

11. What is your favorite sport?
football, without a doubt. i like me some hockey and baseball too, though.

12. Negative or Optimistic attitude?
optimistic

13. What would we talk about if we were stuck in an elevator?
probably just small talk

14. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
my second girlfriend. she was a druggie, she cheated, she hit.... not a good scene

15. Tell me one weird fact about you:
i must clean my ears with a q-tip after EVERY shower. no exceptions.

16. Do have any pets?
yep. 4 dogs and a cat.

17. Do u know how to do the macerana?
nope. don't plan on it either. i can chicken dance, but thats about it.

18. What time is it where u are now?
7:19 pm

19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
eh, whatever.

20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
my weight. the rest i'm ok with.

21. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
partner in crime.

22. What color eyes do you have?
light brown

23. Ever been arrested?
nope. i'm either a goodie goodie or just never been caught doing bad shit. you decide.

24. Bottle or Draft?
neither. i don't do beer

25. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?
seeing as how that isn't enough to put down on a house or buy a car, i'd have to say i'd play. i'd travel with the fam, buy treats for everyone, etc.

26. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew?
orbitz. any flavor really, but my faves are bubble mint and sweet mint.

27. What 's your favorite bar to hang at?
the one in my dining room

28. Do you believe in ghosts?
absolutely. some freaky shit has happened to me in my day

29. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
spare time? surely you jest!

30. Do you swear a lot?
have you read the one or two i've let fly while filling this out? i think its safe to say i curse like a sailor. not lady-like, i know. honestly, i don't give a fuck

31. Biggest pet peeve?
lots of things (see sarcastic bitch comment above). bad customer service is pretty high on the list

32. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
different

33. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
yeah, why not.

the name game

this is a copy of an old post from my old blog (efx2 which then became efx2blogs). in the end, the final incarnation (efx2blogs) went down one too many times for me, so i switched to blogger. i was able to recover most of my older stuff (efx2) from archive.org. some smilies, graphics, and/or links may be missing, but you get the idea.

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still no mojo.
i saw this over at SIC's place and thought it was cute, so here ya go.

YOUR REAL NAME: stacey

YOUR GANGSTA NAME (1st 4 letters plus izzle): stacizzle (yeah, dawg! fo shizzle!)

YOUR DETECTIVE NAME (fave color + fave animal): red dog (what, i'm russian now?)

YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name + childhood street): leigh westlawn (*dramatic soap opera style swoon*)

YOUR STAR WARS NAME (last 3 letters of your last name + first 2 letters of your first name + first 3 letters of Mom's maiden name): ingst'dug (umm, ok)

YOUR SUPER HERO NAME (2nd fave color + fave drink): black martini (sounds like a party girl to me!)

YOUR IRAQI NAME (2nd letter of your first name + 3rd letter of your last name + any letter of your middle name + 2nd letter of your Mom's maiden name + 3rd letter of your Dad's middle name + 1st letter of a sibling's first name + last letter of your Mom's middle name): treunyn (sounds asian to me)

YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM NAME (Grandma/Grandpa's first name + Jones): teresa jones (*dons dark glasses and a big hat*)

YOUR GOTH NAME (Black + name of one of your pets): black chloe (ok, that is just goofy)

YOUR AMERICAN IDOL NAME (fav car and sea food): lexus lobster (alliteration anyone?)

NAME OF YOUR DREAM BAND (name of computer + printer): dimension 1000 (definitely doesn't sound like something i'd listen to)

MOVIE STAR NAME (sibling's middle name + mother-in-law's maiden name): leigh mata (had to use my middle name, my step-sis doesn't have one)

YOUR ALTER EGO NAME (name of one your childhood pets + popular brand of clothes when you were young): sam cavaricci (doesn't sound "hot chick" enough but bingo swatch sounds just plain dumb)

YOUR LAWYER NAME (fav actor's last name + fav hard liquor): jolie stoli (ha! i'm a poet and didn't know it!)

YOUR HIP HOP NAME (fav candy + fruit): reese mango (yeah, sure)


so yeah, that's all i've got today. and uh, seriously, if anyone sees my mojo around here, please return it!

putting on the ritz

this is a copy of an old post from my old blog (efx2 which then became efx2blogs). in the end, the final incarnation (efx2blogs) went down one too many times for me, so i switched to blogger. i was able to recover most of my older stuff (efx2) from archive.org. some smilies, graphics, and/or links may be missing, but you get the idea.

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wifey and i have a gallery opening for one of her customers to go to tonight, so i'm leaving work early to get ready/girlie. i'm talking french manicure, hair straightened, make up, etc.
i'm actually looking forward to our little evening out quite a bit seeing as how we haven't had any couple time for a LONG time.

not much else to say, really. later gators!

swallowed whole

this is a copy of an old post from my old blog (efx2 which then became efx2blogs). in the end, the final incarnation (efx2blogs) went down one too many times for me, so i switched to blogger. i was able to recover most of my older stuff (efx2) from archive.org. some smilies, graphics, and/or links may be missing, but you get the idea.

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my life has swallowed me whole and its taken my mojo with it. i had a similar dry spell in the modblog days but it was because wifey and i were going through a rough patch. that is beyond over now. it just seems like real life and its frenetic pace has swallowed me up. i'm posting from inside the belly of the beast. i have much to say and nothing at all. i have tons of inspiration in spurts and then long periods of nothing.
seriously,

i'm here, i want to blog. i want to be brilliant. but it just doesn't come out. wifey told me (not for the first time) that i should write a book or a short story or something. i can't even find blogging inspiration, much less heftier pursuits. i wish i had one tenth of the faith in myself that she has in me.

on the update front, i'm well, wifey is well. i'll be travelling to texas for work soon and working in a visit to the grandparents (and hopefully my oldest and dearest friend too). work has been a bitch and a half lately with no signs of letting up anytime soon.

somebody throw me a life preserver!

did ya miss me?

this is a copy of an old post from my old blog (efx2 which then became efx2blogs). in the end, the final incarnation (efx2blogs) went down one too many times for me, so i switched to blogger. i was able to recover most of my older stuff (efx2) from archive.org. some smilies, graphics, and/or links may be missing, but you get the idea.

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so did you guys miss me at all? (here is where you insert a yes. there is no other answer cuz i know you were all missing me so much you couldn't stand it.)

so yeah. merry christmas, happy new year, happy hanukkah and all that jazz. i hope you all had a happy holiday. i got to see my mom for christmas. even if there was an issue on christmas eve, it was still great to spend time with her. we had a party at the house on new year's eve, which was also nice. we all had too much too drink and we all had a great time. i've heard that what you do on new year's eve is what you will be doing all year long. trust me, we rang it in right.

i don't really know why i haven't blogged lately. i guess its been a combination of a lack of time and lack of mojo (or moyo for my faithful readers). life in the spacey/green household has been a busy lately and happier than ever. wifey and i have been so sappy we've even said "we really need to get a room"

i do have to say, though, that she said something to me that made me quite sad the other day. no, it wasn't a fight or anything. it was just an observation that made me want to hold her and never let go. as a result of recent events and comments made to both of us, she said that she was tired of feeling like she had to prove herself to my family and friends. that broke my heart. the fact that someone as good and loving as wifey would feel that way saddens me. her family accepted me even when they thought i was only a "friend" and they really opened their hearts when they found out the truth. wifey hasn't been so lucky with my family and friends. my grandparents have come a long way and accept her now, but it was a rough road. she and my mom had their issues in the past as well, which have been worked out. we both kind of felt like my mom acted a bit different over the christmas holiday, but it could also have just been sensitive feelings over the drama on christmas eve. differing perceptions aside, i've learned that people don't always take the good with the bad when i tell the whole story and assume the worst when i leave out the nasty details. it frustrates me for me and for wifey. for me because i feel like i either can't say a damn thing or i need to over explain so that people don't think that whatever shitty thing is going on in my life is because of her. for her because she doesn't deserve anything but love and acceptance. she is truly the most beautiful human being i've ever known. truth be told, we've been through some shit. but we've been through it together. some of it i put her through, some she put me through and some we were put through as a couple and decided on the best path together. yes she makes me think i'm insane when we fight, but guess what, i'm rude as fuck when we fight too. shit happens. the bottom line is this woman makes me feel things i never thought possible. she makes me smile, laugh and cry from sheer happiness. it makes me crazy that the whole world can't see that.

i have to post a bit of a side note at this point. wifey just asked me what i was writing about and i said "you because you made me sad" to which she replied "you wouldn't post that without telling me first" (after asking me when, of course). when asked why, she said cuz i knew i'd get a spanking for doing something like that (its a deal we have. i'll never blog something she hasn't heard from me first). my answer was of course that i was telling the whole blog world that she was mean to me and called me names (so i can get the spanking, of course). so help me out people, tell her all the horrible stuff i told you guys about her while she wasn't looking so i can cash in!



bring it on, baby!

one week down, a lifetime to go

this is a copy of an old post from my old blog (efx2 which then became efx2blogs). in the end, the final incarnation (efx2blogs) went down one too many times for me, so i switched to blogger. i was able to recover most of my older stuff (efx2) from archive.org. some smilies, graphics, and/or links may be missing, but you get the idea.

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well today completes my first week back on the low carb diet. and wouldn't you know it, just when i needed it the most, i can't figure out if i've lost anything or not. the difference between my weight at the doc's the last time i went and my weight last night was 14 pounds, but i'm not convinced. i will have to figure out how off my home scale is and readjust the total.

but, so far so good. seeing as how i have a tendency to hit the wall after losing a certain amount, i'm tracking what i eat more closely than i used to, looking for trends. i lost 45 pounds last time i did low carb and then hit a wall for like 6 months. i'm hoping that doesn't happen again this time. i'm more aware of what might be causing that (hormonal imbalance discovered by the gyno) and i don't intend to let it get the best of me.

i tried a new recipe last night (pork chops with garlic cream sauce) and the chops came out waaaaay too salty. dangit! i hate it when something i cook doesn't turn out yummy! combine that with the chorizo i made for breakfast that i didn't like (new brand, too chunky. i like my chorizo finely ground) and i'd say i had a bad culinary day. the low carb cheesecake i made did come out quite delicious, though. one of the things i love so much about low carbing is that wifey lets me cook lots since i can do the carb counting in my sleep practically and i LOVE to cook.

I'm feeling: better

how cute!

this is a copy of an old post from my old blog (efx2 which then became efx2blogs). in the end, the final incarnation (efx2blogs) went down one too many times for me, so i switched to blogger. i was able to recover most of my older stuff (efx2) from archive.org. some smilies, graphics, and/or links may be missing, but you get the idea.

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i stole this one from enidation. too cute!



You Are Prancer


You are the perfect reindeer, with perfect hooves and perfect flying form.

Why You're Naughty: Because you're Santa's pet, and you won't let anyone show you up.

Why You're Nice: You have the softest fur and the sweetest carrot breath.

Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?


I'm feeling: still sore

my absence

this is a copy of an old post from my old blog (efx2 which then became efx2blogs). in the end, the final incarnation (efx2blogs) went down one too many times for me, so i switched to blogger. i was able to recover most of my older stuff (efx2) from archive.org. some smilies, graphics, and/or links may be missing, but you get the idea.

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i've been trying to answer the two remaining questions from the ask me anything post, but i've had so much on my mind lately that i can't focus. i haven't even felt like blogging that much. i've got some health issues going on that have me tripping out pretty hard core. i've been explaining it to the people that ask as "girl stuff" and that pretty much does it for them as far as an explanation. basically i had a test done, they found something and i have to go for a biopsy on thursday. so aside from being in quite a bit of pain, i get to go in for more. nice. wifey is doing her best to reassure me and she is being so supportive. i love that woman.

anyway, those of you that asked me stuff, i will be answering them as soon as i get my head sorted out.

I'm feeling: worried

all hail the queen

this is a copy of an old post from my old blog (efx2 which then became efx2blogs). in the end, the final incarnation (efx2blogs) went down one too many times for me, so i switched to blogger. i was able to recover most of my older stuff (efx2) from archive.org. some smilies, graphics, and/or links may be missing, but you get the idea.

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saw this around this afternoon and i liked it.

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.


The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.



i always knew i was a queen deep down.

I'm feeling: in pain

questions and answers... part 2

this is a copy of an old post from my old blog (efx2 which then became efx2blogs). in the end, the final incarnation (efx2blogs) went down one too many times for me, so i switched to blogger. i was able to recover most of my older stuff (efx2) from archive.org. some smilies, graphics, and/or links may be missing, but you get the idea.

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here are my answers to suniath's questions
top 5 sex toys
wifey
the cuffs
and............... *rummaging through toy collection*
the purple one w/a bunny on it (i think)
the pink multiple choice one
the sparkly one


chilli or chives?
depends on the food. on hot dogs, chili, on potatoes, chives.

to shave or not to shave?
not to shave. to trim. unless is legs and underarms we are talking about, then its to shave, definitely.

red couch or black cat?
red couch (no idea if there is hidden symbolism there, but i know like red couches)

can homotourists and homoterrorists live in peace with homos?
absolutely cuz isn't a homoterrorist just a terrorist who is a homo?

why doesnt someone make a strapon with straps that actually stay on?
from your lips to the toy maker's ears, hon. maybe i should design my own.

*bow*


I'm feeling: rushed