Somebody throw me a life preserver!

I feel like I am drowning. My head is swimming with a thousand suggestions from family and friends and I am sick to death of it. Everyone seems to have an explanation or suggestion for why I feel so horrible or what I could do to feel better.

There are those who constantly ask me how I am feeling, but that question always comes with such pressure to reassure them that everything is ok. Then there are those who never ask at all and go on like it isn't happening. Either they say I am doing too much or not getting out enough. One says I am not eating right, the other says I should add some new supplement to my diet that they heard is a wonder cure. I get lots of "you should exercise more." Either they tell me that I sleep too much or I am not getting enough rest. Or how about the insomnia I battle on occasion is in my head? Gotta love that one. There is also one who says my doctor doesn't know what he is doing because he hasn't been able to get my symptoms under control yet even though it is well known that it can take several years to accomplish that.

As fun as all that sounds, I have saved the best for last. I would like to present you with my all time favorites:

3. I feel so horrible because I don't think positive enough If I mention a new symptom that I notice or something that concerns me, I am bringing it on myself by focusing on it and being negative.

2. I don't have enough faith in my life. If I prayed more maybe things would be better. Or if I went to their church I would be miraculously cured.

1. While it is not my fault that I have lupus, it is my fault that my symptoms are as bad as they are. Apparently I make it worse by not eating right and not resting enough (because I have fallen asleep at my computer until 5 or 6 in the morning on more than one occasion). This blame then inhibits this particular person from showing me any emotional support because they are angry with me.

I realize that there may be grains of truth in some of those statements, but what I wish is that they would just stop with the suggestions, blame, avoidance and general nonsense and just take a moment to ask me what I want or how I feel about all of this. I would like more than anything to feel like I am not going through this alone emotionally. It would be great to have them talk to me instead of lecturing. And it would totally rock if someone would just hold me and let me cry on their shoulder when I feel that it is more than I handle.